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Film: Interesting Notes of No Importance from Some Recent B’s

By Henry P. Raleigh
arttimes online July 2016

Drawing to accompany essay No Importance by Henry P. Raleigh

Three prophetic climate change scenarios:

“ I cetastrophe ” (2015) - a large meteorite heads for earth, splits in two, a hot half and a cold half. Each lands some distance from the other, each causing devastating but opposite climate changes: either lava spewing out of flaming cracks in the earth’s crust or flash freezing of humans into piles of ice crystals. Once a cause is recognized (i.e. the hot/cold divorcement) a scientific solution is proposed, “We’ve got to get them together again.”

“Age of Ice” (2014) - a touring family finds itself in the midst of a cataclysmic climate change- shifting tectonic plates, lava flows and a drop in temperature to below zero degrees due to “multiple seismic anomalies” which are shifting tectonic plates, lava flows, and extreme temperature drops. The family’s teenage daughter anxiously asks, “Oh, and so there’s lava, and a cold front, and shifting plates- do we need to go somewhere else?”

Category 8 (2013) - When a “frequency disruptive program’ is prematurely launched because of budget problems the sun is accidentally hit by a hi-frequency pulse releasing a solar flare which tilts the earth on its axis causing a breakdown of all electronic systems, earth quakes, dead birds, and lava flows. Hushing up the extent of the crisis to avoid panic the American president proclaims, “We can’t allow this government to be undermined by an environmental scandal.”

From the Horror Genre:

Zombeavers (2014) - The bite of a beaver can transmit the “Gardia Parasite’ (medical term) to humans where it is commonly known as “Beaver Fever.” One so infected will walk on hands and knees, snarl hideously exposing large wood gnawing teeth, a broad angrily slapping tail and eyes like ping-pong balls. One woman observing her friend in this condition asks, “Do you think it is permanent?”

Extraterrestrial (2014) - Movie establishes a world cinema record for the number of times this single expression is screamed- “What the . . . is that?” and for stronger dramatic emphasis “What the . . .was that?”

Alien Abduction (2014) - Low budget, hand held jiggly digital avoids actually showing an alien, relies on sound effects alone principally that is produced by a large rusty fan in need of lubrication, alien presence known by humming tone and wheezy whirling slurping sound similar to the noise made by drawing on a straw in a nearly empty glass indicates that someone has been sucked up. Much restrained use of above expression- “What the hell was that?”

Further notes will be reported as they occur.

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