Speak Out: The Perils of an Artist's Spouse

By Joan Bellofatto Reid
arttimesjournal Aug 14, 2019

Does this sound familiar: nearly all your wall decorations are created by your spouse who happens to be an artist? Paintings, collages, 2-dimensional wall hangings, photographs, sketches, they’re all there, wall-to-wall, room-to-room, stored in closets, at home studios, all of it reminding you of their genius, their creativity, their prolific art, without it you may even have, dare I say, a blank wall, or worse yet another artist’s work.

There are rules and then there ARE RULES for an artist’s spouse when viewing a new child created by the artist. And maybe that’s a good way to look at it. Nay, it IS the ONLY way.

1. Never say “I like it.” What the hell? Like is a banal word to hang on an artist’s work.
2. Never say “It’s nice.” NICE? Are you kidding me? You’re really asking for a knockdown argument.
3. Never say “It’s interesting.” That is so ambiguous, and you better be prepared to say what makes the work interesting.
4. Never ask, “What is it?” It is art. Art that your spouse gave birth to and it is living.
5. Never say, “I’ll wait until it’s finished.” In a word, you’ll be finished.

So, what does a spouse say to the artist when the dreaded question of “What do you think?” First take a deep breath, breathe deeply, and stare intently with a blank expression, UNLESS of course, your first reaction is, “I LOVE IT! It is fantastic. You’re another Mondrian, Dubuffet, Monet”…you get the idea. So unless that is your gut reaction, then you must say constructive and positive things. Here is where being familiar with art terminology helps. But only say and do these if this is what you really mean:

· The composition is evocative, meditative, pleasing.
· The colors fields are powerful, beautiful, and striking.
· It has a feeling of freedom, happiness, and abandonment
· This reminds me of another piece you’ve done. Is it part of a body work
· It’s done, don’t change anything.
· Flip the piece around especially if is a piece is abstract.
· Above all, show interest.

Give the artist time and the piece air time. In fact, while it is still fresh, for the next 48 hours, continue commenting positively. And if ever the artist threatens to separate or divorce, wipe the smile off your face, and be sure to mention for them to take all their creations. Unless you’re like me who mentions that I am the sole owner of the entire collection. Love them and love their art.

Joan Reid llives in Vero Beach Florida